Episode 162
<-- Previous Episode | [[Episode 163|Next Episode -->]] Length: 2:14:03 Hosts: Alex Kate Matt Mitch Guest: The Jax from Mortal Kombat II and III Intro: Alex telling TMK to come on Random Assault Closing Song: Japanese + something else Content Covered: * John talking about being on Mortal Kombat II and III. * John extolling the virtues of exercise * John notifying the audience of the dangerous of easy shitty non nutritional who's sole purpose is to slowly murder you. * John telling the dangers of Big Pharma. * John saying there is no secret to looking good. Just lots of work. * Matt goes full Milhouse on backing John up. * Guitar Hero and Guitar Freaks * Brick and Mortar Notable Facts: * They got JAX man. * Mitch wrong called Sega Activator Sega Action Zone (If they listened to TDar better there would be no mistake) * Matt looking up old electronics like the Tiger Electronic episodes Funny Stories and Quotes: Alex * I'm expecting you to murder me. * Jax has a daughter. ** John - That's what my daughter boyfriend said to me last night. Jacqueline? ** Alex - Make her a major. * Your shoulder width is bigger than my body. * Matt you are infamous for being swole. ** Matt - It's because I'm the only nerd moving weights. * I heard Jax say fuck. * Changing diet is easy. You do it every 2 weeks. Working out is hard you do it 5AM in the freezing cold. * You may think your friend is a giant cigarette and try to smoke him. * There's always more weight. * I got the speedo peripheral for Muscle March. ** Matt - It doesn't exist. ** Alex - It goes on my cock and balls. * Telling me I'm stupid, by telling me I'm right? I don't think you know how this works Mitch. * I hate 12 year old Alex. * Every commercial in the 90's was you're stupid. Kate * I'm ready for all of you to enter me. * Do you want me to dig out a picture of your dick. ** Matt - No. Matt * I am not a fan of Mortal Kombat but I am a fan of muscles. * I'm not close to being a bodybuilder but I didn't want to be a fat skinny guy. * Most of my life I was 130 lbs. My mom was a vegetarian. Then when I moved out of the house, pizza all the fucking time. * Let's get burgers! I shot up to 195lbs in a couple years. I looked in the mirror. Oh my god! I'm doughy I got to do something. * It's weird when people ask me for advice. * 2 months before MAGFest I wanted to be buff like Casey Jones. * If I ate ice cream every night I will get ripped like Arnold Schwarznegger. * You answered the question better than I asked the question. * So Spock died. He didn't die until we posted it. Someone had to kill the fucker. * Majora's Mask I built that game up in my mind so hard I'm afraid to play it. * Be sure to ask Jax next time if he was in Muscle March ** Kate - Have we ever had a guest back that wasn't a fan? ** Alex - I don't know of a person who's name we didn't like. ** Kate - Besides Jayson. ** Alex - Besides Jayson. * He's a fast talking joke guy, but not good at jokes. * Nintendo is the king of making a peripheral that is really good but only for 1 game. * Mitch making videos for your channel but not our channel you Patreon bitch. * You touch another car in Pole Position you fucking evaporate. Mitch * RockSmith sounds like a game Dan Amrich would love. ** Matt - He's the fucking guy! * I have the Wii version of Rock Band 3. ** Kate - Because you are a faggot. * I use a 360 controller as a Trance vibrator. I used my roommate's Nick 360 controller as a trance vibrator. So Nick if you're listening your 360 controller touched my balls. ** Kate - Ew ** Matt - I think we all did that. * Oh man, the Pokemon rumble screen. * People won't remember Be Kind Rewind. ** Matt - There's something I won't miss no matter how nostalgic. John * I went to E3. I was the Doom guy. * For Jax, make sure he's a major and he's badass. * Makeup artist didn't know how big my arm was so he ran out of paint. * Oh yeah I was in Killer Instinct. * People ask me are you a bouncer or do you work in security? No I'm a nerd. I work on computers. Ah hell naw, I don't work at a bar. * I've been bodybuilding for over 25 years. ** Alex - How am I going to lift this car? Better workout again. ** John - No I was 270 lbs. March 2014, my blood pressure was 160 over 120 something, my doctor wanted to give me every medication on TV 1-800-BAD-DRUG and so it gets hard to ties the shoes, hard to walk up one flight of stairs. My daughter kept poking my stomach and said it moves. I said, okay, that's it. ** Alex - Like a lava lamp?' * Average male and female needs to work 3.5 hours a week. That's 30 minutes a day of cardiovascular exercise of some sort. * Need to eat 4 meals a day. * The object is to move. Start slow. The main thing what you're trying to do is for your health. It's consistency. Don't make excuses. Anyone can make 1000 excuses. I get asked is it easy. NO. Some mornings it is not easy to get up 5AM everyday especially Chicago where it is cold as shit. ** Matt - Holy shit. * If you're not a morning person, do it in the afternoon. Don't wait for evening because you will not go. * I'm going to be 50 years old. I don't want to be the grandpa in the wheelchair pushed around. I will not be your entertainment. I look at people 30, 40 years old, they got bad knees, bad back, I'm like what the hell happened to you? * You gotta stretch. You gotta work your legs. When you work the legs with the deadlift you make your whole body strong. ** Matt - That's what I tell people. To follow good advice even if I don't follow it. * We didn't have Facebook, and YouTube. Figure it out scientifically. Figure out what the muscles do first. It's not weight, it's all in the form. * 90% of it is what you eat. Nowadays there is gadgets and computers where you sit down 8 to 12 hours a day. My gym is around WingZone, McDonald's, and there is a goddamn loco Burrito by my home. ** Matt - How many commericals of junk food are there on TV? * We don't buy soda. No soda in the house. If you want to drink it fine. If you want to fuck up yourself fine. Don't bring it in my house. * Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, they don't mention exercise. ** Matt - It's horseshit. * Tylenol. Cures headache but will ruin your liver. * The 90's was I got a personal trainer because I got money. * When I'm at the gym I reduce rest time, no gossip. Add weight or just change rest period. Don't do the same exercise. * There is no secret. Don't have a favorite machine or exercise. You are here to work the muscle.That's how it goes. * When I was going to school I was a stripper. I had my own group. My wife or my girlfriend at the time was my manager. Did 2 sets got $75. We were our own Chippendales. ** Alex - Thanks for being the second stripper on the show. ** Matt - That's true. ** Kate - I forgot we had one. ** Alex - Remember listeners if you ever have someone you appreciate and you have a question you need to ask them and wait 15 years and you will probably get the answer. ** Matt - No way my kid self would say you will talk to Kax some day. * On Jerry Springer, girl and guy didn't know it was a fake. Everyone else did. ** Matt - I would love to see a chair thrown at you. ** Alex - It would have evaporated. * I met a 16 year old kid when Mortal Kombat II debuted, and 20 years later at 36 he owned that arcade. <-- Previous Episode | [[Episode 163|Next Episode -->]] Category:Episode Category:Alex Category:Kate Category:Matt Category:Mitch Category:Guest